Senior Home Safety
Guide To Senior Home Safety
What are some safety tips to give a Senior Citizen who wants to go on internet dating sites?
I have a friend who wants to do this, and I am afraid for her. . . What is your opinion ?
So right, Sherleyf. . . .I told here to try right here in Y/A. . .But she wants someone local that she can date. . . not just correspond with. . . but weirdos are out there !!!
LOL. . LONA. . . LOL. . that would work for me, but sadly she is all alone. . . hence the urge to meet someone !
Good info lazarusagain. . . some I never thought of !!!
You got it Alfie. . . this is why I worry for her !!
NannyW. . . LOL. . . more good advice. . see I knew Seniors could help. . LOL
LOL. . thanks dora. . I never thought of it from the other side. . LOL
good ideas E-ma about running errands etc. . . so they don’t follow you home !!!
good ideas E-ma about running errands etc. . . so they don’t follow you home !!!
Thanks Gladys and Old Gramie. . We all think alike here !
You guys are great ! Lopoks like names will go in a hat pick for a BA. . .
I hear ‘ya Bogey. . . LOL. . My thoughts exactly !!!!
your friend shouldnt use these dating sites because only weird, awkward people use these because they cannot socialize like normal people do. its a bad idea.
No safety tips are necessary. You can get a more accurate read on a person’s personality by what they write than you can by subconscious cues perceived in meatspace.
My opinion is; you have ample grounds for fearing for her.
Gosh, Joyce, I’d be nervous too. What a good friend you are to be concerned. But, in this day and age a lot of people use this. I guess, if it was me, I’d do lots of on line visiting before meeting in person. Then, they should meet in a public place. She should not go anywhere with him until she’s met him several times in public. She should start out paying her own way and absolutely NOT offering to pay for his. She should also let a friend know if she is meeting someone in person and where she is going. She needs to be alert to any little red flags that might go up. I think some of these sites draw people that are looking to take advantage of people financially. So, she needs to be careful if they want to borrow money. My sister has dated this way. Loneliness is a horrible thing. And it can make a person vulnerable to someone that might use them. Those are my suggestions. Hope it helped. God bless.
Bring the whole family to the first meeting. LOL ..that should tell her something right off the bat.
I disagree with some of your previous replies.
This exercise could very well bolster a flagging self-confidence and get her back in the swing of social interaction if she has been out of the dating scene for a while.
As long as she is a sensible intelligent woman and takes the majority of what she reads with a large pinch of salt, meets nobody other than in a public place, does not give out pertinent information and lets others know what her actions are … giving accurate information of where she will be meeting people etc.
The advice that you would give anyone.
I have met many good people via this medium – along with a few absolute barking mad nutcases … but they soon show their true colours.
Just don’t get carried away with fine words and fancy phrases!
You have to remember that these sites are, for the most part, run as a money making business, and the people you connect with are not always who they really are. There are a lot of predators out there, not to mention emotionally disturbed individuals. Never give out your telephone number;or your home address. Some years ago, a good friend of mine went on line to one of these sites looking to connect with a female. He had been widowed for some years, and because of his work schedule,did not have the time to meet the opposite sex in a safe setting. The gal who said she was blond, a College graduate, self-employed etc etc. turned out to be “hooker” addicted to drugs who was looking for money and did not fit the profile that she had posted. It is a dangerous place to find a mate, and I don’t recommend it .
Respect to her for having the energy to still be bothered by
all that dating nonsense.
Most young people seem to get great fun out of these sites,
I personally wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole and understand
your fear.
Can’t you persuade her to join some clubs and meet people in
the old fashioned way its much safer.
use protection, they may not be who they are claiming to be tell her to get a police report on persons she may want to date
Joyce, be positive and encouraging to her (I expect that she’s lonely and scared) but tell her to just use plain old common sense, don’t expect too much (at first) and remind her that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE, should she EVER give out PERSONAL INFORMATION.
Tell her to create a different “user name” and email address (easy to do), and IF she should meet someone “of interest”, and IF she wants to meet the other person, it should be done out in public, in front of God and family.
Good luck to her,,,,,,,,,,,,,o G
One word
Dont
You cant even be sure of anyone. You can obtain photos from anywhere to show who you are. Use a fake name.
Esp seniors , there are people looking to steal your life savings.
Also L.O.S.E.R.S
Just mention you have no money, that’ll weed most of ‘em out.
Don’t do it….some guys seek out Seniors and think we’re stupid!!!
Hey OG!!!
I never used INTERNET dating sites. Although I have dated internet friends I didn’t meet them ON dating site ,. I met them in chat and often met socially at ‘chat meets’ a few times before dating.
However a good idea if one is meeting an online buddy is to meet at a venue with security cameras. preferably an establishment that has gambling and alcohol. That way you will find out if they have a drinking or gambling problem on the first date. Also set you mobile alarm for about half an hour after you meet. Answer it like a call and, if you don’t like the look of the date say you have been called home urgently.
My sister and adult daughter have both used a local on-line dating service and have enjoyed themselves and met new friends. They used sensible safety measures, like meeting at a familiar local crowded place or took a friend along.
There are certainly risks, but do know of a girl who met and married someone she met online and seems happy, which she never was before, so can’t say that it is totally negative. Don’t know how happy her husband is though.
Dear kind Joyce, tell her to take her mother with her, so she can give him the once over, better safe than sorry.
It is not easy i know, but ,do you not know any senior male locally who is in a similar position, I.E. looking for friendship,but nervous about it.Joining a social club can be a bit nervy but well worth the effort.
I have 2 cousins who did this and they both ended up with a guy that was just looking for someone to take care of them. They sponged off them as long as they could then took off. One was left pregnant,but she miscarried. (Thankfully as far as i was concerned!)
On a dare I did it. There were lots and lots of jerks out there. And lots of desperate women, I found out.
All I did was email, nothing face to face. Then after I forgot about it I got an email that a guy was back on the scene (a woman moved 1/2 across the country to be with him sight unseen and then decided to move out and on to California). We emailed for about 6 months and finally met for a lunch. Then we met again about a month later. He’s working out just fine, we’ve met and been dating for 3 years. He wants to get married.
There is already so much good advice here, that it’s hard to add too.
-Don’t give out personal information on line nor on date. Keep topic to how you feel about certain things and ideas
-Leave all meeting information with a friend, and have them call to check on you though out date. 1/2 – 1 hour intervals.
-Always use your own transportation to & from meeting place.
-Meet in public.
-Carry personal alarm / protection. (High decibel squealer / mace)
-After meeting, do not drive directly home. Go do a few errands & be watchful if you are being followed b/c other person is trying to learn your home address.
The only thing not already mentioned is something my friend used to do. She’d have me as secret chaperon. We had prearranged safety signals. We’d arrive at meeting spot together without looking like we knew each other. I would sit near them. Depending on signal, I may be person who interrupts date or arrive at conclusion of date, asking nice “couple” for a ride as my “son” is not able to pick me up as planned. My girl friend would “explain” they are not a couple, but their date is ending and she can drive where ever I need to go. It avoids all the, “Come back to my place… Can I see where you live…” and the stranger danger of following female to her home.
Well, I hope you’ve exhausted all other methods first (church, social groups, friends of friends, etc.). So here are a few red flags to watch out for:
If the person continues to give you inconsistent information regarding interests, marital status, profession, family, age, employment, and so on, start taking note of the various things to see if you simply misunderstood or if the truth is being stretched.
If the person provides you with sketchy answers and is not direct, you should be asking yourself why and what are they hiding.
The individual seems interested in you but after meeting (in a public place), he or she makes up excuses to not introduce you to family and friends.
Seems to become irritated or angry easily over little things.
They try to put pressure on you – being persistent in getting your phone number, your address, information about your work, your family, your children, or wants to meet you immediately.
Makes demeaning or condescending comments about you, his or her family, friends, or co-workers.
I’d use common sense, if something in your gut tells you it’s not right, go with your gut. Good luck if you do pursue this route. Gladys.
First hand experience
I have used Match.com and eHarmony.com
Since my brother met the love of his life on eHarmony, he paid for a year, for me. (very expensive) For him the price was fine, he is a Laser Engineer, she a top Lawyer.
I have met 3 or 4 nice, but not suitable, for me, men
One was a structural engineer and author
One was a newly widowed farmer.
One a bar owner.
MEETINGS:
Match.com
# 1 showed, right off, my feelings did not count.
# 2 Very shy. I think it took all his will power just to meet for lunch, after emailing for months. This may have worked out, but he was afraid even to touch my arm. I think if I had touched his, or hugged him, we might be together.
eHarmony
# 3 We went out a few times, was looking for what I was not willing to give. He make that plain on our first date.
Oh Yeah, and the guy who looked like he had not had a bath or shave in over a month.
Because there are so many women and few (smoking) men, I gave up on dating sites. Instead I now go to Karaoke at the Veteran’s home. Many more available men. However, most are just barely breathing.
I have decided I want to live alone. Yes, I would still love a companion, but have decided, it is never to be
Do you think God planned that women outlive men because we
can take care of ourselves? *G*
Give your friend all the above advice. Best wishes to her.
You can check the person out on the internet. Meet them in a public place, a restaurant, etc
Not a good idea at all. Something I would never do. Safety issues is what I see as a problem. They are many issues to confront when going on a singles network. I had a friend tell me that her new found friend told her they were going to a hangout to smoke drugs and my friend was new at this dating game and almost panicked. I told her to call me day or night —never to put herself in a fix like that again.Some seniors are just too trusting.
She is an adult, so you cannot control her. These are some tips. Meet date in public place like a restaurant and stay there. Do not move about., Each have transportation and have her not say where she lives. Have friends know her plans,take cell phone. Have plans on calling each other and a safe word .For instance, “margarine” means come meet me here now,something is wrong. DO NOT be afraid to have the manager escort her to her car at dates end, Men can force a woman in a car. Take a way home that takes you by a police station,fire house,or hospital. If you’re followed, go to them.Also, have her tell the waitress, cashier etc, this is a blind date.So manager will go to car with you. Best bet_ Double date with her friends and if he is a gentleman, he will readily agree, Safety first. There are kooks out there and real men know this. Being a smart cookie will impresss him.. Tell her you love her and you hope there will be a second date.
If they say they are young, handsome, rich and worldly, expect them to be old, crusty, destitute and still living in the parents’ house.
Tell her to take a Friend (maybe You? )
With her and meet the other person in a PUBLIC/OPEN SPACE
And make the First Date a LUNCH date with NO ALCOHOL involved
People aren’t really expected to drink at Lunch time.
Whereas with Evening dates it’s more or less expected.
ALSO at Lunchtime she’s more likely to be able to get a bus to/from the restaurant etc,
Whereas: After dark Buses might have stopped running ,
For Instance: The last Buses from my street up to the nearest suburb with a Shopping Mall/Restaurants/Train Station etc Stop running about 8:30 pm
Which is bit early for an evening date to end .
I hope this information is helpful
Jerry
Joyce, tell her when she goes on line to wear latex gloves! LOL
Never meet for dinner only for Coffee in the afternoon in a public place. and exchange no personal info. until…and that means UNTIL…take a taxi, or drive herself to and fro… and let all know where she is going to be , and might I say it does work…My 50, and 57 yr old cousin and brother met their sig, others this way…so good hunting…